Oh man, today was not my day!
So I walked in to Sandpoint for their huge Swallow Festival. I had heard that the new church had been completed, which was sure to bring a large crowd. This, obviously, is very enticing to a rouge such as myself and thus I thought I could fatten my purse as I fattened by belly (oh my gosh the food was amazing! and free!!!).
Once I got to town, I scouted about for quick exits. My mate Jethusel got caught in Korvosa last year because he was too eager to scout for exits upon arriving to the city. He ended up picking (or trying to pick) the pocket of the mayor’s son and got caught. Poor guy didn’t know where to run and ended up getting thrown in jail for several days. Lucky bastard somehow managed to not get his hand chopped off, but this made me put my priorities in order – Exits then pilfer.
Back to the story. After I found a way out of town (and several hiding places in town), I got some food (did I mention how amazing it was! and free!!!) and then headed for the church thingy. There was sure to be a lot of people about and what with all the bumping and prodding of the crowd, no one would catch me, or so I thought. My very first target turned with my hand caught in his pocket! He looked right at me, down at my hand, and back at my face. If he hadn’t been so inebriated, I’m sure he would have started shouting. Doubly unlucky for me is that a couple people looked over right as this happened, so I couldn’t just walk away. So guess what I did. No, seriously, guess what I did. I started dancing with the poor bloke! Poor bastard’s face was so priceless, I almost wish there had been a painter there. I even thought of kissing him to top off the performance, but at that point a loud CRACK rang through the air (thunderstone?). At that point everyone turned to the source of the sound, which ended up being this old guy in some fancy robes. Turns out he was the high priest of the church and the ceremony was about to begin.
After my near brush with capture, I decided I’d move to a different part of the crowd. Unfortunately, I was a bit shaken up and my confidence was down (which must have affected me later… you’ll see), so I didn’t attempt any more pilfering (which is a huge loss, as this was a pretty decent sized crowd). Anyways, after I got to a different part of the crowd, I paid attention to the program like everyone else. Near the end, though, right as the priest starts offering the prayer dedicating the massive church, I began to see movement under the “stage,” but I didn’t do anything, as I was unsure of what to do and was still pretty rattled. This proved to be a bad decision. Because shortly after that, a big eagle starts making noise, a Shoanti tribesman yells out something, and goblins start pouring out of the woodwork!
Let me tell ya, I was freaked out, but I knew I had to do something (I was one of the few people there with a weapon). I could see that some goblins to my right were trying to set some buildings on fire (which would be ironic since this festival is commemorating the rebuilding of the church that was burned down 5 years ago) and to my left I saw some goblins attacking women, children, and anything that looked like an easy target. I was sick to my stomach. I mean, I felt like I had to stop the buildings from burning, as that would be the “greater good” (though looking back on it, they are just buildings, not lives) but I couldn’t just leave the innocents to be ravaged by the dog-cutter wielding goblins. I couldn’t use my crossbow, or else I could hurt one of the townsfolk, and I wasn’t close to any of the goblins because I had hesitated earlier and stayed near the back of the crowd. In fact, if I wasn’t so nimble, I probably would have be trampled by the crowd!
I unsuccessfully fired a bolt anyway, and as I did, I noticed that the goblins were looting and picking up anything that looked nice. Just then I got an idea. As I ran to the goblins with torches, I dropped some coin on the ground to try and draw the attention of some goblins (which worked!!!), and got close to a goblin pretty quick. I attacked him and missed several times. If it weren’t because he missed too, I would have been done for. After some time, I finished him and got another one. I heard some hysterical laughing behind me, but I couldn’t tell what it was and why anyone thought this was funny. After some more misses (I told you, this just wasn’t my day). I ended up killing a goblin who was about to attack a Shoanti who was rolling on the ground laughing (why, I still don’t know).
After finishing off the stragglers, we who had fought back were asked by the town priest to meet with him later that evening at the church. Ends up they want us to go on some bloody quest to save their town by spying on the goblins. And to top it off they want us to go for free! Well, to be honest, I felt that I should do it and although I asked what it would pay, I knew I’d be doing it for free, and I was okay with that. Some thief I am! Working for free. And not just that but now I’m headed head first in to a cave full of goblins! We went and talked with this old woman about what she knew of the goblins in the area. Said something weird about them being afraid of horses, that they hated everyone and that it was surprising that they were working together. Whatever, I was just glad to be out of that creepy house. She seemed way too knowing when she passed me and looked at her deck of cards. I’m surprised I didn’t get ratted out right then and there!
So here I am back at my room. I desperately want some more food and ale (and maybe even that cute barwench from downstairs) but we’re leaving early tomorrow and I need sleep more than those other things.